I’m finding it difficult to “stay in the present moment”. I’ve got too many to-do lists and I’m feeling like I can’t get anything done ’cause I’m waiting for something to come into place first. So I’m going around in circles; waiting.
I know that if I were to pull back right now and deliberately choose to go into my “big picture” right mind I’d find some peace, but my relentless left mind is making lists. Uncompleted lists. Lists with empty little boxes to the left of the column. Scathingly unchecked little boxes. Arggggggghhhhhhhhhh!!!!
I’m trying to get lost in a book, or in watching the birds at the feeder – but really I’m just waiting for the phone to ring. Ring dammit!!! Tell me I can move forward. Tell me I can stop waiting!
Breathe!
Breathe in.
Breathe out.
Deeply.
Slowly.
Close your eyes. That’s it. It’s all okay.
The urgency I’m feeling is self-imposed. There are all kinds of other things I can do. I know enough – to know I’m the one in the way here. That’s not self-blame – just reality. I stand in my own way railing against what IS. Now that’s an act in futility.
Stop.
Breathe.
Slowly.
Deeply.
What is it I want? What is it I REALLY want? What is the ESSENCE?
I want to feel peaceful! I want to feel like things are in place; that all is well.
Stop.
Breathe.
Slowly.
Deeply.
What’s missing in this very moment? Really, what’s missing? Anything? What’s present in THIS moment? Peace? A feeling that all is well?
Okay okay, I get it.
Breathe.
Slowly.
Deeply.
Ahhhhhhhhh – that feels a bit better already.
